I remember waking up one morning in mid March. I looked out of the window at the bright sunlit street. It was the sort of day that would normally lift my spirits, instead I felt a lingering sense of unease.
It was early January when we first started to hear reports of a deadly virus that was decimating the Chinese province of Wuhan. I had seen videos on Facebook of people dropping in the street and then being speedily collected by officials. When the reports first started to filter through there was a feeling of empathy towards the people of Wuhan, but also a feeling of great distance. A feeling that we would be protected here in the UK, our government wouldn't allow the virus to land on these shores. In my previous role as a teacher I had recent memories of students asking me if we were all going to die from Ebola, the answer of course was always "No". In early January the prospect of the Coronavirus impacting directly upon us felt unlikely.
By mid March there had been a shift change. Somehow the efforts to contain the virus had stopped. In the UK there was much talk of "Herd Immunity", but I kept thinking about percentages and population sizes and it felt just completely wrong to just allow 3% of the population die from this virus.
I continued every day to open my cafe. I anticipated the drop off in customers, yet if anything we were getting busier. By now it was clear that Italy and Spain were suffering badly from the impact of the virus, there was talk of the elderly being turned away from hospital and being told to go home to die because there was no room in hospital. In the UK people seemed to be making the most of the time they had left, anticipating an impending lockdown the British public were out in force.
On March 20th the order came for us to close the cafe. I had been in the car when I heard the news on the radio. Driving to meet my husband so we could go shopping. I walked around the shop in a sort of stunned silence. When I arrived home once more I collapsed into his arms sobbing. My cafe was not just a business to me, it was a dream. I had left my teaching post with bright eyed expectation that I was going to build this business from the ground up and make it a huge success. I had been determined. It had taken a huge amount of hard work, but the business was moving in the right direction. I had a sense that closing the business would spell the end of it's success.
On 22nd March we received word that the UK was to go into a sort of lockdown. My husband was contacted and told to work from home. A few days later I returned to the cafe to empty the fridges. The roads were eerily quiet. There was a sense of impending doom. It felt as though we were on the brink of something terrible.
For the first time in over two years we had oodles of time together. Later when my husband was furloughed the amount of time we had increased.
I had a desire to finish and publish my book. I felt that I wanted it out there in case I became one of the unfortunate ones who caught and succumbed to the virus, but I couldn't focus on anything.
Eventually I gathered my thoughts. I sat down and opened the file on my laptop that I hadn't looked at for almost 12 months. I reread my book, editing along the way. I added scenes, deleted others. I chopped changed, read and re-read and I re-edited. I then asked my daughter and husband to also edit it.
I eventually published my book.
It gave me such a sense of achievement. A sense that this time hadn't been wasted. The past three months have given me time to walk with my husband and daughters. A chance to read, a chance to write and to develop the tools I need to promote my book. I continued to offer takeout afternoon teas to customers throughout lockdown. For many a delivery of fresh cakes, sandwiches and homemade scones was enough to brighten up their day.
My biggest worry throughout lockdown however has been for my Mum. She's 69, but has an array of health issues. She is stubborn and doesn't seem to see the dangers for what they are. I feel incredibly lucky that I am not posting about the loss of a loved one.
During the peak of the virus there were hundreds of people dying each day. Many of them died alone in hospital. Many were ventilated. I feel thankful that I live in a country where health care is valued and free to everyone at the point of service. Our National Health Service has been outstanding throughout this crisis, doctors and nurses have placed themselves in danger in order to care for the sick. Hundreds of NHS and care workers have died from the virus. We mustn't forget that in our bid to return to some level of normality. It's too easy to become complacent, but complacency will cause us to end up back where we started.
The government advised us that we could open from 4th July. I have not opened my cafe yet.
It seems wrong to send my daughter back to nursery just yet, The measures that are required to reopen are quite strict. I plan to open on 18th July. In preparation I have reduced the seating. I have introduced changes that make distancing easier. I have altered my menu and written a new risk assessment.
Here are a few pics of my cafe now. All that is missing are the customers.
I hope my business will survive. I hope the world will return to some level of normality. But most of all I hope we find a way to beat this. I hope we find a way to reduce transmission and reduce the mortality rate.
I wish you all well and I hope we all learn from this strange experience.